My Girlfriend's " Ex-Boyfriends' " Club

You are requested to read this with a 'Stiff Upper Lip'. Thank you.

Dear Sir,

You are cordially invited to your Girlfriend's " Ex-Boyfriends' " Club. Yes, unfortunately, there were so many of them that a club was deemed necessary.

The meetings are usually held fortnightly in one the many dinghy 'Hole in the Wall' watering holes that people sometimes stumble across in Mumbai. The location and atmosphere aren't important and is subject to change at the last moment depending upon such pertinent points like Happy Hours, accessibility and their policy on smoking. What is important is the 'Flowing like Water' alcohol of your choice and the company which may vary from jolly to downright morose. You may choose from Old Monk to Royal Stag to Kingfisher. No, Scotch won't be served. This is not exactly the occasion to indulge yourself, is it... sir?  

The evening usually begins informally with the members greeting each other followed by an introduction by the new members, if any. You are encouraged to share in brief, how you came upon your misfortune. Alcohol, in it's various forms will be served throughout the evening but the real drinking usually begins after the introductions. 

Drinking games may be played, or may not, depending upon the all round mood. No sir, there won't be other girls for you to mingle with. Its, after all, the very reason that has brought you here, hasn't it?. Of course, there is the possibility, that the meeting might include a few female members but you will be pursuing them at your own risk. Such actions are not encouraged.

When the attendees are suitably drunk to their own satisfaction (To a limit. Rowdiness, of course, will not be tolerated) and the evening starts winding down, the members may exchange stories and anecdotes on the topic that they share in common. You are also encouraged to share your "Adventures with that Girl". A winner for the evening may be decided from among all the sad or funny (or both?) accounts unanimously by the members and that member may receive good natured hugs and slaps in back. Sometimes, if the story is sad enough or funny enough, your tab might even be picked by someone.

We are always happy when someone decides to cancel his/her membership. After all, the whole point of this club is to ' Move On ' and stop dwelling upon her. 'Attaboy!'s are generously given out on such occasions but nothing else. No point in giving something that reminds you of something you moved on from.

The next meeting will be this Saturday, around 8. Please drop by if possible. After all, the more the merrier and eventually, some day you will have to move on.

Yours Faithfully,

Jeeves

What doesn't kill you either makes you stronger or leaves you paraplegic for life and unfortunately, most of the time its in your hands.

- Anonymous

I am not an atheist ...

I am not an Atheist, which brings me to ...

The Environment is in grave condition.

And things are going to get worse before it gets better. But better for whom?

What if earth is the Fungus in God's armpit? And we are the cure?

A rather green and blue fungus on a scale never seen before!

I can just imagine the itching and scratching and to say nothing of the sleepless nights!

And now here we are, the perfect countermeasure. No matter what this environment throws at us, we prevail! Until we scorch this Earth of any and all pestilence.

An ingenious solution, isn't it? We procreate and consume without end and we devour the environment with a passion that can be shown only for a mortal enemy.

Oh and He hasn't been much amicable either. Throwing the occasional epidemic or a major natural calamity our merry way when the mood strikes. Even the most placid person will have admit that Ebola, black plague and HIV are not exactly tools of a genial man. And what about the occasional tsunamis and earthquakes that he seems to shove our way!?

We need to raise our fortresses, barricade our doors, raise troops, go to the mattresses, sharpen our swords (and axes ...) if we ever hope to win this war. Let it never be said that mankind did not do it's part in the annihilation of Earth! 

All hail God (Choose one), all hail God!