Mdam President !!!!!

Pratibha Patil has been appointed as the new President of India. There is much controversy about this decision. No doubt that she is qualified for the post but is she capable? For god sakes ... she is a lawyer. Not only that she is a lawyer in India!!!!!( We are not like our American counterparts!!). And Not Only That she is a lawyer in India who says that she was a visited by a ghost who told that she would be the next President of our glorious country that too in public!!!!!! Doesn't anyone see the joke in this????

A President of India is only just a titular head whose only job is to welcome and visit foreign dignitaries and do other such honors that the prime minister does not have time for. But will someone really take our new "old" president seriously?? Everyone knows that the only reason that she is the president is because she is close to the Gandhis since long ( She is an old "kissass" of Indira Gandhi ). I wouldn't mind her if she had even half the "air" of Indira Gandhi although some would say she was a tyrant ( read Hitler ) - declared emergency in the country because she lost the prime ministerial elections and the lot.

I still don't understand why she was chosen over our former President, Dr.Abdul Kalam, who although looks really like a rat but was qualified as well as capable of handling the job much more than Pratibha Patil. His philosophy and his path of conduct both of which are quite apparent from his speeches, books ( read "wings of fire" & "ignited minds" ) would keep no one in doubt that he had a throughly scientific mind and also a rather modern and "forward looking" attitude. But If life gives you lemon then you make lemonade ........ so atleast now we probably are the only country in the world who have a psychic President ... don't we?????

Back again!!!

Sorry for long delay but ... well ... had lot of small problems which kinda spiraled out of control. Well .... I bunked college for a few days and hung out with with a couple of friends and conviniently forgot to tell my Dad. Well he found out from someone aaaand no TV , no PC and no friends for a couple of days. Almost became impotent not watching pron ;) . Planning to go swimming tomorrow morning. But hey .... who cares?? Do you give a damn!? Do I give a damn!??? See you untill next time ...

Life seems to be moving so fast!!!!! Today college opens and probably in a few days the results for the last exam will be out. Bunked the first day itself. Probably will go from tomorrow. Thinking about just relaxing today. No gym .... no girlfriends .... no football .... just me and the PC.

Jailed !!!!!

Remember the fighter-betta I talked about before. Well I had to isolate it!!!! Why??? Well ... lets just say that my swordtails are no longer "swordtails" .... I am presently trying to find another home for it. If I don't find one I will probably buy a bowl for it. A small one 'cause it does not need much space and I don't have the money to buy an aquarium for a single betta !!!! I am not that kinda rich!!!!!

Alien Attack!!!

Yahooo !!!!!! Scientists have discovered a planet outside our solar system which may have the " Key To Life ", water , AGAIN . Well ....... wasn't it enough the last eight or nine times ???? And why does water always have to be the " Key To Life" ??? Why can't it be some kind of metal or oil ? You know ..... like the Autobots. I don't suppose that they run on water, do they???

Anyways ... the search for aliens is in a very derelict condition ever since the United States cut funding. What else could they do ... with the growing cost of producing Precision Missiles and Warheads and S.E.T.I ( Search for ExtraTerrestrial Intelligence), for that was what it was called, was not producing enough substantial results. Anyways S.E.T.I still exists and is doing their job supported by major private corporations and users like us ...

S.E.T.I has a massive array of radio telescopes that target areas most likely to harbour intelligent life.It works on the assumption that intelligent civilization will be able to transmit radio waves. Billions of channels of such radio waves are scanned for some sort of pattern and for for S.E.T.I to process all the channels without the resources of N.A.S.A is almost impossible!!! This is where we come in. After downloading the Seti@Home software you computer devotes its free resources to scan "packets" of data and sends it back to seti. This process works on the principle of "Distributed Computing".



"What is COURAGE? ... Resistance to FEAR not Absence of FEAR .... "

A Day Like Today !!!!!!!

Today was some fun !!!! Went out with friends for a game of bowling and managed to hit three strikes !!!! Then went a round of pool , that is, after ..... uh ..... a round of beer. Kept always pocketing the black ball. Donno why .....

Also bought a fighter - betta for the aquarium. A combination of blue and red. Came home to find that my mollies had given birth. Managed to save 12 of them after much dogfights !!!!! I consider it some kind of an achievement **PAT** !!!!

After the rescuing the fishes, the beers and the gym(yeah!!!) I think i am ready to call it a night and just lay down till these swollen biceps, abs and thighs stop doing whatever that they are doing...... Bye!!!!! CYA!!!

CHILDREN !!!!

A teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class
the first
half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is
what the
kids came up with:

People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.
Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the . . . bug is close.
It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of . . . termites.
You can lead a horse to water but . . . how?
Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.
No news is . . . impossible.
A miss is as good as a . . . Mr.
You can't teach an old dog . . . math.
If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust . . . me.
The pen is mightier than . . . the pigs.
An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there is . . . pollution.
Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.
A penny saved is . . . not much.
Two is company, three is . . . The Musketeers


" You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have for instance. "

FIRE-ENGINE !!!!!!!

WHY IS THE FIRE-ENGINE RED???????????????????????????

Donno???? Consider yourself blessed 'cause I am gonna tell you !!!!!!!!!!


Well ....... A fire-engine has 4 wheels and 8 people, that makes 12.
12 inches makes a Feet.
A Feet is a Ruler.
The Ruler of England is Queen Elizabeth.
Elizabeth is the name of a Ship.
Ship sail on Seas.
Seas have Fishes.
Fishes have Fins.
Fins reminds of Finland.
Finland is beside Russia.
Russia's National Flag is Red.
Well ... hence .... so ......... um ......... the Fire-Engine is Red!!!!!!!


I swear ..... I am not going mad!!!! This is what happens when you stay away from the Computer for more than 24 hours!!!!!!!


" What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend it ceases to exist. "

Height Of Globalisation !!!!!!!!!!!

Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you
change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is written by an Indian,
using Bill Gates's - (an American)technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Pakistani men,
and trucked to you by Mexicans
..and now being read by a person sitting in an office who should be
working instead of wasting time like this!
That, my friend, is Globalization.

" Heaven doesn't need me and hell is afraid that I will take over "

DATE GAME!!!!!!!

Indian woman
1 st date: Meet her parents
2 nd date: Set the wedding date
3 rd date: Wedding night

Papvreter woman
1 st date: Take her out for dinner
2 nd date: Take her family out, buy them a house.
3 rd date: Pay lobola for her pregnancy
4 th date: Wedding day

White woman
1 st date: You both get drunk and have sex
2 nd date: You both get drunk and have sex
3 rd date: You both get drunk and have sex, just to find outthefollowing day when you wake up you've been sleeping with your bestfriend's partner.

Coloured woman
1 st date: Pregnancy
2 nd date: Pregnancy
3 rd date: Pregnancy
4 th date: Maintenance court

ARGUMENT !!!!!!!!!

So Long And Thanx For All The Rain!!!!!

Monsoon in Mumbai is something else!!!! I am not talking about its cousin in proper Mumbai, which reminds me of gutters, rats and dog shit, but the one in Navi Mumbai. Here the rain makes the grass seem greener, the lake and rivers clearer and the bird's songs sweeter. So what if a .... uh ..... couple of cars "broke down" in the rain, A "few" people got diorhoea, rats swim on the streets but the rain is great fun when watching from a safe vantage point. I am not screwing around, but this is the shit. The rain renews the many waterfalls and the many mountain streams. Hell .... from my old house you could see a huge waterfall around 1mile away. no joke!!!! All in all .... its rather fun!!!

Stop this Murder!!!!!

Recently it seems that some doctors and lawmakers are arguing that sex determination tests should be made legal in the country ( In case you know you don't know, sex determination is a serious crime in India due to our screwed up sex ratio). Their point of arguing is that a family should be able to decide the sex of their child in certain situations like if a family has 2 females then they should be able to able to have a third son. What I say is that, they can take their opinions and shove it up their ass. I have news for you guys , the world is not THAT easy. I don't have anything against abortions. As a matter of fact, I say that abortion should most definitely be opted for if it will prevent the ruin of another life - the child or its parents (not mutually exclusive!!). If you think otherwise read this. It may not be the truth but at least it dwells in the realm of truth.

People should not have the right to decide a life and death situation on the basis of a whim!! "Dear husband .... if i have a boy this time lets kill it!!! I think a girl will be more cute " - is a line probably only a psychopath will think of !!!!! An abortion in this situation will be an out and out mrder punishable with the highest punishment!!!!


" I always walk in the rain so that nobody can see my tears "

Raindrops keep falling .........

These chords are right to the best of my knowledge. If you find chords which are better suited please let me know .......

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

(Burt Bacharach&Hal David)

Intro:

F C Bb C

F Fmaj7
Raindrops keep falling on my head

F7 Bbmaj7 Am7
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed

D7 Am7
Nothin' seems to fit

D7 Gm7 C11
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling

F Fmaj7
So I just did me some talkin' to the sun

F7 Bmaj7 Am7
And I said I didn't like the way he' got things done

D7 Am7
Sleepin' on the job

D7 Gm7 C11
Those raindrops are falling on my, head they keep falling

F Cm7
But there's one thing I know

Bm7 Bb C Am7
The blues he sends to meet me won't defeat me

D7 Gm7 C11
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

F Fmaj7
Raindrops keep falling on my head

F7 Bmaj7 Am7
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red

D7 Am7
Crying's not for me

D7 Gm7 C11
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'

F Fmaj Gm7
Because I'm free

C11 F
Nothing's worrying me.


" ...... all animals are equal , but some animals are more equal than others. "

WET WET WET

Thats what happens when when you mess with mother nature !!!!!! More than 800 mm rainfall in a single day!!!! This happened last to last year and again this year and never ever happened before that!!!! After last time thought we were prepared but ....... well ....... it happened again!!! Probably Global Warming huh ..........

" ....... but when we do get to have our nervous breakdowns , I go first . "

Hahahaha!!!

I picked this joke from another blog. Quite hilarious and also says much about holy men . **smirk** .

P.S : I am not generalizing !!!


GIRL: forgive me baba I have sinned
PRIEST: What have you done my child?
GIRL: I called a man a son of a b*tch
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a b*tch
GIRL: Because he touched my hand.
PRIEST: Like this? (As he touched her hand.)
GIRL: Yes father
PRIEST: That's no reason to call a man a son of a b*cth
GIRL: Then he touched my breast.
PRIEST: Like this? (As he touched her breast.)
GIRL: Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of b*tch
GIRL: Then he took off my clothes.
PRIEST: Like this? (He takes her clothes off.)
GIRL: Yes father.
PRIEST: That's no reason to call him son of b*tch
GIRL: Then he stuck his "YOU KNOW WHAT" into my "you know
where.
PRIEST: Like this?" (As he stuck his ----! into her ----!)
GIRL: YES FATHER,YEES FATHER, YEES FAAAATHER!!
PRIEST: (After a few minutes) that’s no reason to call him a
son of a b*tch.
GIRL: But father he had aids!
PRIEST: OH HOLY SH!T THAT SON OF A B*TCH!!